The power of family

A couple of nights ago, my cousin's wife (cousin-in-law?) passed away following a long and, undoubtedly, unpleasant battle with cancer. By all accounts she fought it well and was a wonderful example of the power of the human sprit in difficult times. Her first and, I guess, her last thought were for her family, her husband and daughters, and the daughter who waits to greet her.
 
 I can't imagine the way her immediate family and her parents are feeling now - I'm lucky enough to have all my parents and siblings around - but the rest of the wider family are feeling a wide range of emotions, numb, pain, grief, relief, and love and support for them all. And that's what got me thinking, and why I felt I had to write something down.

I barely knew Sam, in a first person sense. I met her a handful of times, at clan gatherings, and liked her. She was vital and always smiling, an open and  welcoming person. I live at the other end of the country to all my cousins and, through carelessness, I was out of contact with them for about 25 years. My fault and something I regret. I missed all the usual family stuff - births, marriages, divorces, remarriages, all the normal stuff. I did get some news second-hand, but I neglected them.

 Then Facebook happened - it's becoming a cliche nowadays but when I joined (in order to monitor my children's input!) suddenly all these cousins and 'rabbits friends and relations' appeared and there I was, with a new family again, if that makes sense. Instead of getting news via my mum, who's in touch with everybody, I was getting news and stuff directly, But the funny thing was, apart from not knowing which child went with who for a while, it felt like I'd never been away.

 Sam didn't accept my Facebook friend request - she had more important things to deal with but, and this is my point. I felt her loss just as much as if it were one of my own...because she was one of my own, By some bond I don't understand, I felt that the family had just lost a significant part, and I wept as I prayed as much as her brothers- and sisters-in-law did. I feel an emptiness in my world in the same way. Their loss is my loss and all because she married the eldest son of my dads brother.

 I've never been convinced by the primacy of science, and this is a situation that defies rational explanation, and I know that lots of people don't have a positive view of family, but when it works, it is undoubtedly one of the most powerful and all-consuming forces in this world. It needs to be cherished and nurtured and not, as I did for so long, left in a land of assumption and neglect.

 So, au revoir, Sam. I hope the next stage of your journey through the spiritual multiverse is even better than this one, but be sure that your family will never forget you, or be grateful for your presence within it.